Things about Blog Tours that I don't understand

Yep, it is that time again! I am curious, I am admittedly a little irritated/crabby, and I need some answers. Continuing on with the I Don't Understand series is blog tours. As always I do not mean to be insulting, and am not making this post about anyone in particular. If you fall into this category and feel that I am completely wrong or rude, just say so and we can talk about it.
So why am I irritated/crabby, whelp, I have issues sleeping and this is one of those days where I shall be getting none. I either sleep a lot or not at all, and never will I go to bed at a decent time unless I over work myself. Yesterday I slept a lot and was lazy so here I suffer. On to the top at hand since I've had too much time inside my own head again. The following are just a few simple things I don't understand about blog tours....

  Tight Schedules
 While I get having to post the promos, reviews, excerpts and the like on a timely manner (i.e. the day you requested and not a week later) as most blog tours only run for a week, the thing I don't get is the request to have them up at some odd hour like 8am. For me, I get barely a trickle of traffic at 8am, and my only guess to why something needs to be posted right then is for the different time zones. After a poll I have learned that most of my followers are from the U.S., which means they are only a few hours behind or ahead and either in bed or at work and unable to loiter facebook. I know my page better than anyone, and granted most of the time (if I go to bed) I sleep until the noon or evening, those times are the best for posting. It just seems to be when everyone is free and glances around the newsfeed. So why such an early hour? Or even weirder, you must post after midnight but before 8am your time. Maybe I could understand this better if it came with an explanation like "I live in the UK or Australia and those will be the only hours I can see your posts." But I get zilch when I ask, and typically it follows with some rude reply. You know how I feel about rude remarks...
Yep, that is what it turns into. Guess this makes this two things I don't understand in one post. Why so early, and why the mean comeback when I was just asking a question? You know what I said? Copied and posted so you can make judgments; "Hey, how are you doing? The post is up but I have a question. Just being curious is all. Why do you ask for the posts to go up so early? I don't really mind doing it, but it seems odd to me." To me that isn't rude, however, I have been known to get lines mixed up on an occasion...

  Blog tours that don't pass the love
 So what is a blog tour exactly? The way it was explained to me is as follows: A blog tour is like a regular tour that involves questions to the author(s), excerpts from their latest book(s), news on any WIP(s) with promos and possibly giveaways, and even (a) cover reveal(s). Think of it like an author jumping from convention to convention giving an hour long speech about what they do and why everyone should be interested in it, except these authors don't need to leave the state, or house. It is a more efficient way for everyone to get to know someone new, or learn more about something they love without having to spend a dime. There is typically one stop a day for about a week, sometimes more stops a day with a long time frame. Sweet! Sounds great to me, and I can totally see how it would help the author out. But when an author is going from convention to convention, or bookstore to bookstore, they typically give a shoot out to that place so everyone can follow along. "Hey everyone, will be at Bookstore Conventions today, stop on by and say hi!" So what gets me is when a blog tour goes on and nothing is said about it from the author... Granted it can be hard to keep track, but even a quick shout out later on will direct people back around. I mean the stuff is online so it will be there awhile (or forever) to go look at. Blogs need attention, too. :(
 This can exclude cover reveals, who honestly wants to shout that many blogs out in one day to say the same exact thing? LOOK AT THE COVER! Although maybe everyone on your facebook page will finally get to see it, LOL. (Darn facebook for hiding stuff)

  Impersonal Tours
If a blog tour (which I may totally have the definition wrong here, in which case I just sound like an ass) are like a normal national/international author tour, why do some lack personality? Put some oomph into it! I was a part of the Dirt Thirty Blog Tour which I thought rocked socks because it was obviously R.M. Gilmore everywhere and not a robot. While I enjoy a good promo post every now and then, I want to get in the author's head. I want to meet them and discover who they are outside the novel. Give me a little personality! Picture sort of related.
 

 Whelp, I have probably bored you all enough here, so it is time to wrap this baby up. In closing, I would love to have a personal blog tour just for giggles. Something that obviously says me even though I don't have a book out. It just looks like fun. Big thank you shout out to anyone who would help beforehand though it will probably never happen. (I can dream, can't I? :P ) And maybe one day I will get some further insights. Really hope I had the definition of a blog tour right, otherwise this is embarrassing and now up for everyone to see....
Oh well, we all make mistakes and how am I supposed to know? Check ya'll later my lovely vamps, lots of love!

Things reviewers do that I don't understand

Hi, welcome back to my confused series of posts. This one is about reviewers, NOT bloggers, that was a totally different list. This is for the people who give books star ratings on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and so on. You've probably seen the reviews, maybe they talked you into buying a book, or talked you out of buying one; and while I don't aim to be offensive, this post is a little more blunt than the others. Quite frankly, there are a lot of things reviews do that I don't understand. Here are the top four....

Reviews books they haven't finished .......
 
I had to open up with a meme here. Really? Why on earth would you leave a good or bad review before finishing the book?! What if it changes halfway through, or does a dramatic twist near the end that puts your whole idea of the story before into a new direction?! You don't know how it will turn out until you hit the last page. I get that some books are just sooo bad that you cannot finish them. The typos, the content, the dead characters with forced dialog and relationships; I've hit this issue before, but I am talking about the people who keep changing it because every five pages they have a new opinion. It doesn't make any sense, and blows my mind. Not to mention it gets really confusing to read, and I'm not going to stalk you for whatever the finished decision is. By the second or third change- if for whatever reason I am really stalking that book that long- I will give up and just go by the picture, or blurb, or something... So, please, stop and finish the book if you plan to. If you're never going to touch it again and you're only halfway through then by all means, warn us, and be descriptive in your review!

  Four or five word reviews
Yeah, this kind of goes with the bit above. If you honestly hate a book, I want to know why. Nothing will help the readers out more than a few descriptive sentences on your true feelings, or thoughts, about the story. "I LOVED THIS BOOK!" Sweet! But... What made you love it? I'm not saying to type out a lot; I also get that some people have troubles putting those jumbled happy/angry thoughts into something decent. It doesn't need to be a paragraph or five, just a quick explanation. "I hated this book because it was just a repetitive and boring storyline." That makes my decision on whether or not to get it a lot easier, and we really do appreciate it!

  Weird star ratings
Sometimes I come across reviews that don't match the star ratings. Now each site has their own sort of thing, and sometimes people make their own up. This just gets confusing, but two things are about the same no matter where you go: a four means you liked it a fair amount and a two means you didn't like it. When I see things like "I hated this book, huge waste of money- I give it four stars" I am even more confused. Or "I love, love, LOVE this book! - two stars!" I don't know what to think here, maybe they don't know? Could certainly be, so real quick here, five is the highest mark. It means you loved it! One means you hated it, some while different sites kind of change what the in-betweens mean, it is all about the same sort of scale.
On a side note here, if your rating system is different and you are using amazon or something, please check out what they say each star means before clicking it. I saw this one person who's five star meant 'better than Bram Stroker' (huge vampire fan) and that was an impossible feat for anyone to get to. I think I saw one book she rated five star according to her scale; the rest were four and under. It makes the whole thing more complicated than it needs to be.

  Use text speak
I never fully understood text speak unless you were texting and driving, trying to text while giving a three year old a bath, or preforming some other attention demanding task. Even then the only text speak to be received is 'ttyl', and not something like 'i h8 dis book', 'U need an editor', or 'y dnt u understand proper english. ur suppsd to b an author.' Hey, we all make typos every now and then, just look around my posts and you'll see it. But why go this far? If your attention is that divided, why are you writing a review? It is hard to talk about your feelings and thoughts when something else keeps interrupting. Again, your review doesn't need to be long, but we all crave the inside scoop on the hots and nots of, well, everything! I am aware that this may look more like bashing than honest curiosity. A few of these topic fours are a little touchy to me, because I have seen them cause some trouble in the past. But if you have something to say for it, be my guest and speak up! I won't learn if nothing is brought to my attention. I do, however, want to leave on a lighter note. So here is one more question type thingy for all of you.

  Professional reviewers
What makes someone a profession reviewer? Is it the proper use in star ratings, or the five paragraphs of well explained opinions without giving away any spoilers? I honestly don't know. I thought it was working for a newspaper or magazine and reporting top stories of fashion or NYT bestsellers. I think if anyone aims to be a 'professional' reviewer without the true passion and schooling behind it, you are trying too hard. I say passion and schooling because if you want to be super awesome good, get a sweet job with it! Hey, why not? Got the drive, aim for the stars! For those of us who simply like reading books, and want to talk about it at the end, don't fret too much. A simple 'I like/dislikes it because of insert something good/bad here' works well, and a close guess on the stars, or a swift search of the meanings, will make you number one to me- even if we do have different opinions. =)
 

  *Disclaimer: Vampy's Book Blog aka Vampy's Ramblings does not under any means condone texting and driving, even if you use text speak to let the other person know you will talk to them late. One text, even a small one, could be fatal, so please put the phone away until you are off the road. Be safe on the roads! Love ya!

Things bloggers do that I don't understand

A little while back I did a post called 'Things authors do that I don't understand' and it kind of inspired this. As I learn and grow in this interesting community, I begin to notice somethings that frankly, I just don't get. Being a blogger, you would think I had some of the answers to these. But I don't, and funny enough, I do some of these weird things. I can't explain why, I question myself a lot, so if you have some sort of explanation for it I would love to hear about it.

  Acting like blogging about books is our job. 
And I mean hardcore, we are talking about authors like they're our bosses rather than people who politely ask for a review, or blog post about them. Admit it! If you are a book blogger, I bet you've done this before. Anyone we talk to, we act like this is something that means life or death (maybe not so extreme, but the point remains.) Let me give you a quick example: "Man, my boss is tough. Eight hour shift, starting at 6am. Ugh." Blogger replies, "I know what you mean! Three blog tours and five book reviews this week! I don't know how I am going to get it all done in time!"
 
 Most of us aren't getting paid for any of this. We do it because we want to, and we love it! So, why do we act like it is literally a job? I have sticky notes all over my wall with book review request, beta deadlines, blog tours events, spotlights, and giveaways. It isn't stressful per-say, because again, it is want I like doing.  But even my friends look at me weird when I start talking 'serious blogger'.

 
  Letting someone else control your blog
Now this is something I don't do, and I just don't get. So, some bloggers (and no, I won't say who. I absolutely refuse to because they may somehow, someway, have a good reason for it) have actually told me they won't feature an author, because a more 'popular' author doesn't like them. Whaaaa?! Dude, I don't care if Sylvia Day came up to me and said 'don't post about Jez Strider, I don't like her' I would cut her out of my life with a quickness. (All fictional examples; and cutting her out does not necessarily mean I would stop reading about her books. I would simply stop all contact; e.g. change my number, ignore her emails, block her from my facebook.) It is MY blog, I will talk about who I want to! Which, as a indie book blogger, is every indie author out there. I don't discriminate. If you act like a snobby bitch I will block you, but I will probably still read your books and write reviews. And I don't give out low reviews just because I don't like someone's attitude, I give them out because I honestly think the book deserved it- it has nothing to do with the author personally. If it loses me some likes, then oh well. I never thought I would get past my first 5, and frankly I won't shut up even if nobody is listening. I'm serious, just ask my family.

  Giveaways
Giving stuff away is fun, and it sets a good example for the kids. But let's face it, some of us bloggers get WAY too excited over it. I don't get it. Either A) we're giving away someone else's stuff, or B) we're paying for it ourselves, and regardless we all act like it is Christmas for us to do so. The giddy, pumped up posts to advertise it; the bouncing in our seats while we wait for rafflecopter or random.org to select the winners so we can ship those sweet swag packs out. I'm not complaining, it is awesome to see a lot of people selflessly giving stuff out, but it does confuse me sometimes... Why are we all so excited?!

 I'm going to wrap this up, and probably make a part two later. I'm sure I'm not done discovering weird habits that are blog related that I do, or see others do. Maybe you don't fit into any of this; but if someone has some sort of explanation behind this odd (but sometimes very pleasant) behavior, leave a comment below so I can hopefully understand. Got a question that has been buzzing in the back of your mind? Leave as well! I might know some insight, or it might make me realize that I am a lot stranger than I had originally thought. Either way is awesome. Love ya!

Things Authors Do That I Don't Understand

They say never trust someone who talks to beings that aren't there. If this were truly the case, we would all be in trouble. But even outside the magical world of literature, there are some things that authors do that I just don't understand...

Limit One Per Customer
Signed books are awesome, like it doesn't matter who you are, you will want one. Don't know the author? Pffft, so what, the book is autographed by them and that means something! So when an author puts up that announcement that says "buy an autographed book by me for x amount of cash through paypal"

   

 I jump on the offer like you wouldn't believe. But when it is followed by "limit one per customer" the train stops. I run an awesome page and blog (or at least I would like to think so) and these autographed books are like my bread and butter. What is cooler than getting something signed by an author in a giveaway? Sadly this means I need two copies, cause sorry ya'll, but I am getting a book for myself as well. I do understand to a point. Like if you only order ten or twenty copies you don't want someone buying all of them at once. But come on, let me have two. Two is a small number still. (On another hand here, if someone wants ten or twenty signed copies of your book, why are you saying no? Taking their cash then order more. Seriously, how cool would it be for someone to put in that big of an order!?) So I just don't get the limit one per customer thing.

Swag
This sounds really funny if you just look at the title and not read any further.
"Vampy, how the hell do you not understand swag?! You hand it out sometimes in awesome giveaways!" Why thank you, and it's not that I don't understand swag, it's that I don't understand what some authors do with it. Bookmarks, keychains, buttons, like I have researched up the wazoo to see how much creating some of these products would cost. Why? Because it is awesome but I am a tight wallet chick. I know approximately how much you all spend on this stuff, and while handing it out in giveaways and such is awesome, I don't understand complaining about it afterwards. In order to get anywhere with a business, you have to invest in yourself. For authors, this means promotional swag and stuff of the like. It's just a smart way to enhance your sales. But afterwards to complain about the money you spend on your swag which you decided to hand out for free?! It blows my mind.
My thoughts go like this: First, why are you spending more on swag than you have to begin with? Make homemade stuff, it comes from the heart and it is cheap. People will still want it.
Second, if you are ordering it offline and your stock is getting low, you're almost out of cash, why not sell it? If an author came to me and was like "Vampy, I have this bookmark I am selling for $2.50- includes shipping- are you interested?" My reaction would be one of two things. Either I would go "Hell yeah, give me two! What is your paypal?" or "fuck, can it wait until next payday? I want it, but I need to get that check first!"
And I know I'm not the only one!
Especially if you sign it, which will take about three seconds with a pen or marker. Big named authors do it, don't be afraid to do the same every now and then. Just keep your prices reasonable.

Street Teams
I may have brought this up before, but I don't understand them. What are they suppose to accomplish, and why do they have a specific name for them? From what I understand street teams are groups of fans who work under the author for nothing to spread the word of that author's latest project all around the internet. If this is true, I am on a dozen street teams. Come to me and ask me to post something, and I will. I won't turn anyone down, even if I didn't personally enjoy your book. I think the only people I refuse to talk about on my page are Allison Noel and P.C. Cast (sorry, but I can't stand any of their books. And I did give their work an honest try.) But anyone else? I am your number one fan!!

 

So another thing that baffles me is what the street team gets in return for posting all of those teasers, links, and just promoting like crazy. (I realize this entire thing is sounding greedy, but in some cases you need to be. Like I said, being an author is like running your own business. Not everything can be free.) Why join one? What are you getting? Like, does the author send you free swag to pass out in giveaways and stuff? If so, then I could totally understand it. I will promote any and everyone for free, but receiving random swag for it just makes the job that much cooler. I feel appreciated for it, and no lie, almost like I'm in debt to that author. I will post them more because my brain thinks I need to repay them somehow, and that is the only way I can really do so. Or maybe I'll trade them swag, or send them candy, or something. Running with how I perceive street teams, my whole page and blog is everyone's street team. All I do is ramble, and promote books. So why give it a name like that? I am but your humble fan doing what I love to do- talk to strangers about books and everything related. Do I mind doing any of this without something in return? Not at all! But this street team name to go with it? I don't get it. 

 I know I am probably wrong on more than half of this, but these are my thoughts. And I don't doubt that in the future I will run across more authors who will do stuff I don't understand. But this is the wrap up for now so I can get back to my book. Got some answers or questions of your own? Post them below in the comments! Love you all!